But I didn't mean to...It was just a bad day....ummm..may be a funnnnnn day..!!!

I want to shouttttt...!!! screaaam....aaaaarrrrrghhhh...!!!! I hate this job of mine..!!! It sucks...big time....Do all of you hear this???....it sucks....just like all your jobs...!! I know all of you are pretending to be happy...but like me everyone wants to just run away....runnnn awayyyy....you hear me...runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn away....!!!

Satisfied that everyone heard my thoughts I sink back into my chair with a big frowning face. Only if we could hear each other's thoughts then probably I would have been kicked out the moment these thoughts came to my mind. But hell, like I care...

Had to reach office at 7.30, but got up late which delayed my reaching office. Add to that, my whole team going on a sick leave as if it was only today that they realized that there exists something called as an immune system which isn't working fine for them. This left me with loads and loads of work...which doesn't exactly require the intelligence of an engineer to do it. But anyways...how can I be right when almost the complete IT industry believes otherwise. But like I said before, I couldn't care less.

By afternoon had lost almost all my patience, if it would have been a fantasy world you could have seen steam blowing off from my ears and my eyes red hott...(creating such fantasy worlds is my forte ;) ) I skip lunch because there's too much to be done and anyways bad mood gets the better of my appetite. As my mouse clicks its way to glory, and the keys on my keyboard play their grandest sonata till date, I feel like a coal-mine worker shoving gravels here and there with my tools. phew..!!! life couldn't have been better...

Thats it, I think...my mind's on a rampage, hunger's taken its toll on my body...I decide to sit still for a while... The cacophony subsides and calmness ensues. Its unusually calm I think...and dark too... Ohh...I have fallen asleep...and wait...if I am taking a nap, what the hell is Anay doing here...

He calls me out....Arya...Arya...oye listen...Why you so pissed off...??

"Nothing, just having a bad day at work, what the hell are you doing here??", I snap at him.

Unmoved he continues...(I so hate him for this...!!) "I guess I know what you should you be doing to make this sadness runn away"

Bewildered and reluctant I ask him,"What is it...?"

"Weren't you thinking of throwing things around a little while ago...", he asks me taking me totally by surprise. How on the earth did he come to know what was I thinking.

But I make him disappear as the idea of throwing things appeals me immensely.

I try to sit straight on my chair and concentrate on my task. Ahh not my work, I meant throwing things around. A look at my desk and I realize that I have a lot of ammunition. God save my Bay and the 3 bays' adjacent to mine. With an innocent look on my face I toss the pencil forward with good force. Everyone being on the leave helps as there is no one around me to notice what I am up-to... Yeah..and then after a minute or so I get up to see who has suffered at the hands of my armorus pencillus (please don't google this...its my creation...let it rest in peace...)

And bang it has hit the bald gentleman who thinks being bald makes him look more appropriate for the role he is currently assigned to....Hahahaha...!! I am loving this...I look around and notice with the corner of my eyes Mr.Baldy scratching head as my weapon has done some good damage while landing on the flat runway...!!

I settle back and feel more confident for my next attack... What next...what next...I start panicking, but then I calm my nerves. This is a war and I am a good general...!!!wohooo...

Next up from my side is the Armorus Eraserus, I flick it from between my fingers, it covers a longer distance than I had expected it to be. Possibly a long range missile, my "alice-in-wonderland" brain pops this thought. I feel good...and to check the accuracy of my attack I again rise up from my seat.

Awww...It has hit Vikrant from the adjacent bay. But well deserved, after all it is a crime to look so handsome and be shy at the same time. Good punishment for you Mister. Learn a lesson from this, my mind issues the diktat loud. Poor guy is still dumbfounded, clueless as to where that eraser came from...

Bunch of pop-up notes hit Miss Make-Up kit, My mouse ends up at the intersection of two rows I just bombed the junction...!!!,Scale lands right in front of Mr. Crook's laptop, amazing to see him scared out of his wits...hahaha..This is soo much funn... Some more things fly around in my bay and I hear the chatter rising...People standing up with the things that hit them in their hands and looking at each other with a blank expression on their faces. I also get up, innocence dripping from my face...hahaha...If only someone could see the devil's horns on my head, and look they have LED lights as well... :p red ones...

The time has come I think...The final assault...The weapon is one in a million the chosen one...Armorus nuclear shoelius...Not many have had an encounter with it...I take the shoe off from my right foot... My pretty black shoe...But it has to be sacrificed...this is war...!!!

My arm stretches backwards to gain maximum momentum...the shoe in hand...It points in the direction of my tormentor...No prizes for guessing who....Can I hold my nerves through this...I am this close to end the war forever I think... I fling my hand in the forward direction...and the ammo is released, my heart skips a beat. who will it be this time??

I hear my phone ringing...I try to reach out for it...It ain't on my desk?? I throw my hands on my desk to search for it...Just then I get hold of something...Aaah its my phone, but why can't I see it...

I then open my eyes...Confusiiiioooonnn...!!!

Was this all a dream?? I think out aloud... I get up I look around. I pick up my ringing phone, "So, how many did things did ya throw around", Anay asks me...It confuses me even more...!!!

Crazy Crazy world...I think...and get back to my work...Dream or not...I did enjoy that. And looking back now as I see it...It was nice throwing things around...But I didn't mean to...It was just a bad day....ummm..may be a funnnnnn day..!!!

The Gladiator and the Princess...Part 2

20 months since the fight:

Tears rolled down her eyes as she lay helpless and the poison working its way into her body. It was the physical pain that made her weep, for mentally she was far from breaking down. Didius sat by her bed side. He had never felt so helpless in life. Life had been such a bliss until yesterday, when Leora drank the potion which had been adulterated with the strongest poison any mortal could ever dream of. The Royal doctors were horrified when they checked her condition, a few whispers into Emperor Commodus's ears and he knew that fate in sometime would snatch away the most precious thing in his life, his daughter.

The crowds adored her, the senate thought highly of her, even Commodus's enemies spoke exceedingly well of her. What had she done to deserve such an end leave alone an end. As his mind clogged with such overwhelming thoughts he quietly moved outside so as not to disturb the silent conversation between his beloved and the boy whom he had handpicked as his successor. Just before departing from Leora' chambers he looked at both of them,what a beautiful picture they both made. Why...Why..Why does this have to end like this...He was enraged at his own helplessness.

"Don't lose heart Julianus, You know that the last 20 months of my life after our marriage have been the best ever. Just like a dream that I always wanted to live, where love and happiness was what preceded everything." saying that she managed a weak smile. Even in adversity her courage stood out. How many knew that beneath those tender and beautiful features lay a resolute and undying will. And even in death the fragrance of which didn't fail to enchant people around her. His eyes met her's with a forlorn look in them. He knew that tomorrow's sun would change every single thing in his life. Life as he knew would end the moment Leora's heart stopped beating. She would take quite more than a chunk from his life.

He made an attempt to speak but the words died down in the throat, he was choking. However he hadn't cried yet. He had maintained his composure for he wanted to show her that he still had the hope that she would survive this and they would grow old together. For he thought that tears rolling down his cheeks will break Leora and weaken her further. Only if he had realized that She was the one who was more composed than all the other people in the room. Even in death she wouldn't fail herself.

"I have loved you with all my heart, my dear", He finally spoke, voice quivering. She shifted her head from the cushion to his lap. He felt the tenderness of her cheeks, which were wet from the tears. This was it, he couldn't hold back those tears any further. He started sobbing like a child. At one point he contemplated falling on his own sword, to escape this misery. His heart wrenched with almost physical pain. The burden would be too big to carry all his life, he thought. And then he went numb, there was void, he couldn't comprehend anything around him. For a moment he thought that he had gone insane. But the moment her hand reached out for his, he was brought back into reality, to sanity, to his dying love.

He had lost all sense of time and reality, till the royal doctors arrived and requested him to move out of Leora's chambers. They realized that the end was now near, and Leora had every right to end her life with dignity. She would have to be left alone, for the doctors had seen that how painfully life ended when people died of poisoning.

He was reluctant at first, but when he realized the nature of the request he couldn't disagree. He reached out for her and hugged her tightly so as not to let her go. He kissed her, as if wanting to tell Leora that even in death his heart and soul had loved only her, no one but her.

With great efforts, he dragged his feet out of her chamber. Standing at the door he gazed at her with his tearful eyes. He wiped off the tears as he couldn't see Leora's face clearly. His eyes captured of what was the last living moment of Leora he would see.

After 3 hours the doctors had the message send to the Emperor. The chief doctor had confirmed that Leora was dead. Though the Emperor was expecting the news to arrive, he slumped back into his chair, when the guard actually told him of it.

Didius was sitting in the garden when he was made aware of it. He just nodded his head when the guard broke him the news. His eyes were no longer wet. Leora had died the moment he had left the chamber. There was still time before he could mourn her death in solace. It was only after he left Leora's chamber that the question nagged him that who had adulterated the potion from the doctors?

For others it was a mystery, but form him it was clear as a crystal. He needed to start right way to avenge the death of his beloved. There were a lot of things to be done... A long road ahead he thought, but the only one he had...

to be continued...

Words... My Wealth...

This is a poem that I wrote around 3-4 years ago, as an amateur wizard of words (which I still think I am :) )... Hope it's as enjoyable to read as it was to write for me...

Learned I yesterday,
That words were the only treasure I did own,
Culled in after years of rigors,
Long ago were its seeds sown,

Alone when I was, they did come to me,
Singing songs never heard so far,
Listening to their voices which none could hear,
I wondered to myself that, blessed was I or just a soul bizarre.

Least expecting them, they did come silently,
Stabbing me hard,they hurt a lot,
I bypassed and surpassed the pain they gave,
As spoken they were by the ones I had long forgot...

Bursting with emotions when I went seeking for them,
Laughing with me...with me they did even cry..
Fear they showed when I was frightened...exclaimed they when I was on a high,
Beyond my brains they appear to me as can't understand them even when harder I try,

Carrying us by means of our thoughts,
Work they do is a grandiose affair,
Stumbling nd fumbling I play with them,
Feeling like a new born in a cradle of (their) care,

Words we use with less lot a care,
forgetting that "HEARTS BROKEN WHEN WORDS ARE SPOKEN...ARE DIFFICULT TO REPAIR..."

The Gladiator and the Princess...

"Let the fight begin" roared the voice of Emperor Commodus through the Colosseum. He waved his hand through the toga and sank back on his throne. Hearing this, a loud wave of excitement ran through the crowd. For them this was any other match except for the fact that the consequences wouldn't be limited to just one man walking out; this was a war of pride. A war which Marcus Antonius had brought upon himself as well the emperor.

Not long ago, the rudiarius Didius Julianus from a remote north province had proclaimed his love for princess Leora Augusta in front of the whole Colosseum. This had angered Marcus so much that without even consulting Commodus he invited Didius to a duel with an unknown gladiator. "All gathered here have seen what a ruthless fighter you are, and also your courage since you have dared to propose the princess in full presence of the public. Just a wave of my hand and my men will make you disappear from the face of Rome, but this is not how I want it to end. 7 moons from now, you will fight again, for your life, your honor, for the very last breath which you will take right here, for everything that you hold dear in your life. If you fail, I need not remind you of your fate, if not it will be the princess who will decide your fate".

The noise in the colloseum was increasing by the second, even as he stepped into the center of the arena he was not sure if he winning the fight would make him win over the princess as well. They had never talked, the only times he saw her when she came out for public visits or for her personal work to the city centre. But there was something in her which made him long for her, something which had made him restless since the day he had seen her. And it was this something which had driven him into the madness he was now in. Her long hair, flawless skin, petite black eyes ,long slender fingers with gloves on them, made him want to see more of her. Though he hardly got time from his training at the ledi, he somehow sneaked out at least once in a week during evenings and most of the times the effort was rewarded by the sight of the princess with her girl friends engrossed in some or the other thing. Every single time he saw her, he felt like going up to her and talking; but he knew that it was not only outrageous but would put the princess in a great deal of danger as it was considered inappropriate for strangers to interact so openly and then she was the princess so this all became even more stringent.

He shifted his sword from his right hand to the left waiting for his nemesis to arrive. He felt the rush of blood against his temple and his muscles which had contracted completely in a state of alertness, ready to attack at that very moment. He saw his opponent arrive. It's going to be a tough day and a tougher call, he though as he looked at the size of he gladiator against him which was almost twice his size.

The Emperor marked the beginning, and the two men rushed towards each other. One hungry for glory, the other for love. Armors clinked, swords flew at each other with full force, blood flowed, and with each blow in the arena the temper of the crowd rose and fell as if the fighters were the conductors of this huge orchestra.

At the end of a complete 90 bloody minutes, there was only one man standing. The crowd was ecstatic as this fight had been the most fiercely fought and entertaining than all. Initially the people had their prejudices on who should win, but towards the end nobody cared. All they did was scream, as loudly as they could.

Didius stood with a great deal of effort as one particular blow from his opponent had pierced through his calf muscle tearing it apart. But today was no day for pain. He had done it at last. If Marcus was a man of his word he would let the princess decide his fate. At least he would stand a fair chance that ways.

And Marcus did honor his word, he turned to the princess to ask her to decideDidius's fate. He was sure that she would always prefer him over any other man, and once she made that clear he would ask the princess to let the gladiator walk away free. As he turned to speak to the princess, he was stunned.

You didn't need weapons, armor, an army to win or lose a fight. He had already lost, he looked into Leora's eyes and could see them full of admiration and love not for him, but for the gladiator. He stormed out of the gallery clutching his toga in embarrassment.

"I will go down as the mightiest fool in all of Rome's history", he thought as he ran down the stairs towards the royal entrance.

Still standing inside the arena, Didius looked at Leora with longing eyes, how beautifully they had thought this over. Luck was indeed on their side as there could not have been a better execution of the script that they had written. The secret meetings, fear of the vigilant eyes, their undying love, the lion-hearted gamble had crafted a beautiful chapter in Roman history, in which he and Leora would go down as the prime characters.

They had fallen for each other the first time he had come to fight here, right in this arena where Leora had come to accompany her father. Their eyes had met and the conversation that ensued between the pair albeit a silent one had been enough to conceive this madness in each of them. What both of them didn't know was that someone else had made himself privy to whatever was going on between them.

"Was I good?", asked Didius as he moved closer to Leora.

"To the last moment, my love", she replied now holding his hand with a firm re-asserting grip.

As they walked out of the arena, both turned back and saw the Emperor standing in the gallery looking at them. Turning towards the Emperor, Didius gestured as if bowing down after a performance. Seeing this, the face of the Emperor broke into a slight smile. A slight nod from the Emperor reassured Didius that he had indeed done well.

"The boy has justified my faith, may be it is time for the next move", he thought and turned to walk away.

Marcus was standing at a distance bewildered at what he had just seen. Not everyone could have understood what had transpired but he was no fool. "My dear friend Commodus doesn't know that this is going to cost him dear", vowed Marcus and stormed towards his chariot.

to be continued....

A man down...

Yeah you read it right, we are a man down. Saket, my room-mate has shifted back to Mumbai. After an amazing 9 months and 9 days , we today dropped him at the Airport. It was five of us who had come down here. At the end of the day we had the same address to go to. But not after today.

I don't feel nostalgic or emotional much to the dismay of others but what matters is that we had legendary fun in the last two months and I appreciate his contribution to it.

Milk Cravings, Hope Farm uncle, the irrepressible urge to wear those sport shoes and zooooom off on Saturdays, First CP points and even then coming last in the total tally, talking to people with cute faces and cute eyes (Hope you get the pun)...Having McDonald's burgers for dinner, outright denial for a movie plan but then retracting just after the tickets were booked, Going on drives to Corner House :), Watching movies during office hours, Pretending to sleep throughout the night, Playing cards and losing out big time, Endorsing Ponds Talc by applying almost half a bottle at one go, Kakka, polka dotted shirt, being called a Casanova for his far-reaching contacts in the fairer sex.

Though the above tags don't completely define saket's stay in Bangalore they sure outline what he was like...

I know that you have had as much fun with us as we have had with you...
Earn all the sobriquets in Mumbai that you earned here by the sheer power of your deeds... :) (and you know what I mean when I say this...)

Cheers...and enjoy Mumbai...!!!

A story on three wheels...

Place: District Court Room

Case of Muniappa vs Pratik; Charges levelled against Muniappa- Attempt to murder, Willful causing of physical Injury, Dacoity, Mastermind of the Gang which conspires and attacks citizens.

S.Ganesan the prosecutor spoke "Your honour, I don't think there is any further need of investigation or cross-examination as all the charges against the accused have been proved beyond a reason of doubt".
"Is there anything the defence counsel would like to say in response to this?" boomed the voice of the Lokayukta S.Hegde. Such cases were routine for him, but then his willingness to do justice in simplest of the matters was what had catapulted him to such heights. Honest, cunning,shrewd(in the classical sense) and brave were some of his well-known attributes. The ones that made criminals fear him, and which is why they exercised caution.
"No My-Lord, the defence rests its case; and expects justice to be done".

"Very well then, It has been proved beyond a reason of doubt that the accused masterminded the attack on Mr. Pratik on 26/03/2007. With help from his accomplices, the identities of which are yet to be found out, he looted Mr.Pratik forcefully taking possession of all his belongings and also attempting to gravely injure him using a chopper,which is now in the court's custody, thus putting his life in fatal danger."
"The Court finds Mr.Muniappa guilty of all the charges levelled against him and sentences him to 3 years rigorous imprisonment along with a fine of Rs. 10,000 to be deposited with the court on/before 28/06/2007."
"The court is adjourned", and the Lokayukta walked away.


3 Years Later...

"Heyy Guru, you are back, and what an occasion to come back, we have been alloted new chawls near Basavanagudi", said Ramanna to Muniappa as he made his way out of the central jail. It had been three years since he had seen the outer world. He felt good and relieved that finally he was out. All his pleas for parole were rejected on grounds he couldn't understand.
"And Guru you know what, while you were inside the Government has launched a new scheme"
"What is it?" asked Muniappa dryly, as he was in the least bit interested in Ramanna enthusiasm. All he wanted to do was go home and see his wife and son Karthik.
"It is a brilliant scheme, all the prisoners who come out of jail after serving a sentence of more than one year will be given auto-rickshaws as a part of a rehabilitation scheme".
This caught Muniappa's attention and in the next 30 minutes he garnered all the information that he could from from Ramanna.

In the next 20 days Muniappa had become a licensed driver. He had a clean Job and a clean image. The khakhi dress helped him camouflage his past physically in the least.

As I listened to this story it occurred to my mind that what if, the khakis camouflaged only the outer criminal but not the inner one. There are thousands of Auto-Rickshaw drivers which share pasts as murky as Muniappa .Bangalore is host to thousands of I.T professionals from around India. A majority of which travel by a rickshaw on a daily basis. "Saaaar, Tonty rupees meter ka upar de do, kaaali aana padta"; "Saaaar, one and half hota, kam mein nai parvadta" such statements are the flavor of the day in bangalore. As much of a nuisance it is, it can't be ignored for the dependence is too great in absence of any other convenient mode of transport.

While the pockets of the helpless I.T professionals get pinched everyday, there is no immediate relief in sight . For people who have earned easy money all their life, how will the idea of hard-earned money ever fit-in ? Does the government have complete assurance that these offenders will never be found on the wrong side of the law ever again ?If not, then isn't life of so many civilians in a grave danger? Why are people being made to forcefully face such situations on a daily basis? The drivers and their families make up a substantial number when vote-bank politics is considered. Given the inclination of political parties to enjoy themselves in such muck, it is not surprising that a wilful blind eye has been turned towards the problems of the migrants. Because pleasing the I.T population (mostly migrants) isn't going to vote them to power but ignoring the driver's surely will.When all this happening the only thing one can wonder is "Where does the buck stop"?

A story on three wheels is just a small attempt to highlight and understand this phenomenon prevalent in bangalore from a wholesome perspective.

Mumbai re-visited

Date: 23-01-2010 Place: Mumbai

The City finally arrives , the distant tall buildings and the slums ornamenting the sides of the road are Mumbai's way to greet anyone who comes her way. A sudden wave of pungent air grips my nostrils, nearly making my eyes water and making me realize that the pleasant air of Bangalore has indeed made me a little soft for the city where I was brought up. The initial sounds come as blows to my poor ears that have now got accustomed to the tranquility of my home in Bangalore. Screeching tyres, Blaring horns, flashing headlights and I feel lost. Lost in my own city, How the hell is this possible...I must be tired, nothing more, this is how I dismiss all this. But it ain't that easy.

I catch a rickshaw which thankfully in Mumbai abides by an instrument called the Fare Meter, unlike Bangalore where it is nothing but a visual tool to trap unsuspecting new-comers.It has been almost 3 months since I left Mumbai, and I have kinda missed the chaos abundant here.

Pot-holed roads, overflowing drainage, Havaldars taking in bribes, Over-crowded trains, red Best buses (which have been pleading for retirement now); this is Mumbai and I feel nothing less than proud of having been brought up the Mumbai way. But there is a strange thing with bangalore, the more I detest it, the more I get entangled in it by means of people, places or incidents. There are plenty of each of them which will make me remember this city for a long time to come.

As I am still thinking over all this stuff, the rickshaw driver asks me "Bhau, Kuthe gheu, Left ki right"(meaning should I take a right or left?). I answer "Right ghya ani doosrya building chya gate samor thambva"(Take a right and stop in front of the second building). I have reached home. The one place where it doesn't matter whether its Bangalore or Mumbai.

I leave the contemplation for a better day, as there are better things awaiting just 20 feet above.

9 months ago...The day it all began...

Inbox(1) showed my Gmail Inbox...I absent-mindedly clicked it...AC invites you to join it's rolls from 27th November 2009, read the mail. A few phone calls and I left for the college. I then realised that I had misplaced my original Offer Letter and my mind raced towards the possibile ramifications that this could have. Nevertheless with "I-will-find-my-way-out-of-this-as-well" attitude I reached college and as it had always been,I negotiated my way out of this situation as well.

I was walking with Chandresh and Aparna on my out of the college and I blurted out that may be we will get Bangalore or Chennai as our centre as I had a strong feeling of that happening. As soon as my words reached their ears, voices of protest filled the air. I caught my mind contemplating on whether I should have told that or not.But I dismissed this as an unnecessary exercise by my mind.

What flustered me and somehow disappointed me was the strength of feelings which everyone around me had mustered at the thought of leaving Mumbai. I, on the other hand, never thought that emotionally. Indifference was surely a way of life. People raved about mumbai, swore on its culture, claimed that how difficult it would become to live wihtout things that made mumbai 'MUMBAI' . For me this was simply an opportunity, to start writing on the slate all over again, to start a journey leaving behind all the luggage from the previous one. However my admiration for Mumbai was never any less than their Nostalgia.

A few days later...CST Station...Destination: Bengaluru
The train took off...and so did our lives in a direction which was yet to be unravelled and comprehended...

But we have come a long way since then. And everyone has managed to make something out of these 9 months. The people around me have surprised me quite a lot. Their various interpretations and implementation of this period has been an intriguing affair.
It is these 9 months and the experiences so far that have prompted me to start a blog...which is named aptly as The Bengaluru Diaries...